Booking the Beards

You want to book Beard? You want to skip right to the business?
Scroll down to where it reads “BOOKING” in big bold letters.


So, you heard from someone that they have a casual acquaintance that heard some music and they didn’t hate it. Not only that, but other people were there too, and all of them patronizing the place the music was being played. You were confused for a second because you wondered why the people were there just to act superior in a belittling way. Then you realized there is a second definition of patronize. THEN you realized it meant people were there to listen to music AND they were handing over money for goods because our free market economy is strong.

You started thinking, “I would like people to come to my establishment and patronize me.” Of course, you immediately realize you used “patronize” in the wrong way, unless you like to be roasted by strangers, and if that’s the case there are easier ways on online forums to be ridiculed. So, you decide the best way to facilitate the mutually advantageous experience for you, your establishment, and people looking for a night of original music, is to book the act that your friend’s acquaintance heard. You fire out a missive over SMS with said inquiry only to receive in reply, “Cant remember… had big beards though”

You know how to use the internet, so you did some sleuthing. Don’t worry, this isn’t like the time you creeped around on Facebook trying to find pictures of the person you were dating in high school hoping they put on weight. NO! This is more important (or not, we all need little pick-me-ups). So you type some keywords like, “Beard” “Music” “Vermillion,” and guess what? The first few results have nothing to do with us. So you scroll. Scroll on Scrolldier. That’s when you find us. Maybe on Facebook, maybe it brought you right to this site. I don’t know, I can’t read minds.

No matter how you got here, you are here, and that is all that matters.


There are two different ways to contact us if you want to set up a show.

You can contact the band at The Beards


Contact our head of PR and client outreach Jake Kerby at Jake Kerby

If you don’t get a reply, try hitting us up (I loathe that expression) on facebook: The Beards on Facebook